Inbound Missile to Columbus / United States!

Nuclear Attack Symbol

Activate Emergency Alert

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Terms and Conditions In case of no inbound missile, I, the button-pusher, will be the scapegoat to compensate the whole world for the inconvenience caused. This means that I can be jailed, all my assets can be seized, and the arm by which I clicked the button may be cut off. Even if the missile arrives but misses, I will be held responsible. If the missile hits but has no warhead, I will clean up the scene.
As if I am here to read your never-ending gibberish, I have carefully read this document as well.